Checking In - Suspect Package Page 6

“Never was very bright, Uncle Harry.”

  “Why was he lifting it over a garden wall, dear?” Mrs T asked.

  “It was the reverend mother’s,” Jessie said.

  “The garden wall?” Mrs T said.

  “No,” Jessie said, “the motorbike.”

  Major Tom lifted the edge of the cardboard flap and tried to peek inside. “Oops!”

  “Now that’s one of two words you don’t want to hear,” Rob said.

  “What words?” Maurice said.

  “A doctor saying interesting,” Rob said, “or a pilot saying oops.”

  They all edged up slowly until they could see above the desktop. Which, thinking about it, was probably not the best move with the threat of an imminent explosion. Rob tore his eyes off Stephanie’s breasts and forced them to check out the concourse—with the occasional glance back, just to make sure she was okay. Of course.

  Major Tom was backing off from the box, his backside still arched into the air.

  The bomb exploded.

  A white mushroom cloud blew up and out across the concourse. Major Tom flattened himself against the polished floor in an effort to avoid the coming blast. The others ducked down behind the desk. Stephanie put her hands to her mouth.

  And Jessie and Mrs T shook their heads slowly.

  “I suppose they’ll expect us to clean that up,” Mrs T said.

  “Bound to,” Jessie said with a long, tired sigh.

  The others raised their heads slowly above the desk and saw the inflatable girlfriend sticking up from the box. It was swaying gently from its sudden inflation, and its fortunately shaped hand held a stick with a banner:

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAJOR TOM!

  It had two medals strategically taped to its enormous chest and wore oversized khaki shorts.

  Major Tom unclenched his hands from his head, climbed slowly to his knees, and stared at the doll and the cloud of polystyrene and confetti drifting down across the concourse.

  One by one they all turned and glared at Rob, who stood up, shrugged once, and sauntered off to the staff room for a well-deserved coffee.

  “That’s good,” Mrs T said.

  Major Tom’s face was already scarlet, but managed to get just a couple more degrees of red. “What?” he hissed through clenched teeth. “What could possibly be good about this… this…”

  “Raving madness?” Janet suggested.

  “Raving madness,” Major Tom said, taking the offer. “What could be good, Mrs T, about me getting a bloody heart attack?”

  Mrs T smiled sweetly. “Well, dear, if it had been a real bomb, there would have been a much bigger mess to clear up.”

  Mrs T and Jessie trundled the cleaning cart in the direction of the birthday surprise, and Major Tom marched past with as much dignity as he could muster. Whilst wearing a jockstrap on the outside of his trousers. And being covered from head to toe in confetti, talc and sequins from the bomb blast.

  He saluted. “Good day, ladies.” The jockstrap crushed his nuts, and he screwed up his face in agony.

  “Happy birthday, Major Tom,” they said with a smile.

   

  …

  If you enjoyed this story, please post a positive review to tell others… many thanks.

  …Next Episode: Toeing the Line (Episode 2)

   

  Books by Leigh Barker:

   

  The hugely successful Bitesize Read Series (1-hour episodes)

   

  ‘Clan’ Season 1

  Rip-roaring Adventures.

  ‘Clan’ Season 2

  The Adventure Continues!

   

  ‘The Hellfire Legacy’ Season 1

  Action-packed Thriller!

  ‘Soldiers’  Season 1

  Explosive Great War Adventures.

  Requiem for Eden - Season 1

  The Eden Adventure Continues.

  ‘Men at Work’ Series

  Mostly ‘True’ stories of anarchy in the workplace…

  Full-Length Novels:

  ‘Eden’ Fantasy Series (Requiem for Eden Prequel)

  Great adventures with our reluctant hero

  Eden’s Last Hero

  Winterwood

   

  Thrillers

  Off-the-wall characters, furious action and suspense

  A Whisper of Armageddon (The Hellfire Legacy Prequel)